Missed Opportunities season 1
by Smileys
Summary: A short clip, one for each episode, where the writers could have advanced the developing romance between Picard and Crusher but didn't.
1. Farpoint Station

"Can I help you captain?" she asked as I entered her office in sick bay.

"I, uh, I didn't want you thinking me harsh, cold-blooded." I offered as an apology for previous behavior.

"Why, oh why would I ever think that?" she asked.

"I didn't welcome you aboard personally, professionally. I made you come to me on the bridge. I yelled at your son. Who, as you pointed out, was quite correct. He does seem to have a very good grasp of starship operations." I explained. She hadn't thought me rude? She's a very forgiving woman, even kinder and more lovely than I remembered.

"You've just won his mother's heart, captain." she said with a smile. That might not be such a bad thing if I could actually win her heart, but there were other considerations.

"Ah, but uh, now, your assignment here, I would consider and approve a transfer for you." I offered. She would probably jump at the chance to have a posting where I wouldn't be around.

"Oh, you consider me unqualified?" she said with a hint of both bravado that I would consider her unqualified and also I sensed some hurt that I might actually consider her unqualified.

"Hardly, your service records shows you're just the chief medical officer I want." I told her.

"Then you must object to me personally." she said with a bit of temper in her voice.

"Heavens, no, Beverly!" I exclaimed. "I am thrilled to have such a wonderful doctor for my crew and, I hope, if you stay, we can rekindle our friendship. But I'm trying to be considerate of your feelings. I don't want my presence in your life to be a constant reminder of a terrible personal tragedy."

"If I had had any objections to serving with you, Jean-Luc, I wouldn't have requested this assignment." she said.

I was shocked, she wanted to be with me? Well, at least she wanted to be on the same ship that I was on. "You requested this posting?" I asked.

"My feelings about my husbands death will have no effect on the way I serve you, this vessel or this mission. It was an accident, I know if you could have prevented Jack's death you would have. I in no way blame you for his death. When I see you I don't see Jack's death, I see his friend that brought so much joy to his life. I see a man worth getting to know as friend for myself." she asserted.

I was glad to see her on my crew roster even though I thought she would grab the chance at a transfer. Now I hoped this was the beginning of a wonderful friendship. Being the captain of a starship could be very lonely, it would be wonderful to have a real friend on board. And a lovely friend at that, "Ah, then welcome aboard, Beverly. Care to join me for a cup of tea later to get reacquainted?"

"That would be lovely, 10 Forward at sixteen hundred hours?" she asked.

"Fine, see you then." I replied.


	2. The Naked Now

"Captain, can I see you in your Ready Room? It's a private matter. No, actually it's an urgent one." She said as she fled into my ready room."

"But..." I was about to tell her we were too busy but she was gone. "Damn it." I said to Worf and headed after Beverly. "Now, doctor..." I started but she interrupted me.

"I believe I've become infected myself, captain." she said sitting very casually and alluringly on my desk.

Wait, she's infected? We need her to be able to think clearly to cure the infection or we'll end up like the Sea of Kofsky. "Do you know what the infection is?" I asked. She laughed and started to remove her lab coat, the lovely blue one that matched her eyes. "Come on, quickly." I said trying to focus her attention.

She laughed again, "Sorry, it is definitely like alcohol intoxication. The same lack of good judgment. For example, right now I find you extremely, extremely..." she trailed off not finishing her thought. I wanted to know exactly how she was planning on ending that sentence. "Of course, we haven't time for that sort of thing." she said urgently.

"What sort of thing?" I asked. What the devil was she talking about?

"Oh God, would I love to show you." she said as she came close, too close, thisclose. I could have just leaned in a little bit and kissed her. I wanted to lean in and kiss her. It wasn't right, she wasn't herself. I would be taking advantage. I can't do that to her. I tried to remain professional but I was feeling a little intoxicated myself. I wasn't sure if it was this damn infection plaguing my ship or her nearness. "Doctor, there must be a cure. Some formula..." I tried to clear my throat to have an excuse to lean back from her lovely face but it came out as more of a whimpering chuckle and I couldn't bring myself to back away. Steady, Picard, be professional I admonished myself. "...similar to the old one."

"Captain, my dear captain!" she said as she leaned in to kiss me. She wasn't in her right mind and I wasn't doing much better myself. This was no way to begin any sort of relationship. With all the mental strength I could muster I backed away from her. It cost me much.

I was trying to get out of my Ready Room, out where witnesses might help us rebuild a sense of decorum, but she followed me to the door. It swished open and she leaned against the door frame. "You owe me something. You do realize that don't you? I'm a woman." she said as she unzipped her uniform several inches. "I haven't had the comfort of a husband, a man..."

"Not not doctor, please." I implored. Then I did the last thing I wanted to and walked away from this beautiful, intelligent, sensuous woman who was offering herself to me.

"Beverly." I called out to get her attention as I entered her laboratory.

"Yes, Jean-Luc?" she purred.

"You will address me as captain." I said with authority.

"Captain?! Well then, my dear captain, you will address me as Chief Medical Officer or doctor." she replied saucily.

"I will? That's true. I started out by calling you Beverly and of course, naturally, you..." I had called her Beverly. I wanted to continue to call her by her first name. I want to be her friend, maybe more. And I liked that she called me by my first name. Why was I thinking about this? We were in a deadly situation and I was thinking like a schoolboy trying to get a girlfriend. "I'm still not thinking straight."

"Likewise, where the hell was I headed?" she asked with a hypo-spray in her hand.

"If that's something you were going to test..." I suggested.

"Yes! On Geordi!" she exclaimed and headed out to sick bay.

Later, after the ship was out of danger and everyone was well again and everything was put to rights I had some time to think about the ship's doctor. We had been friends years ago. Actually I had been very attracted to her back then but she was my best friends love interest so I had to conceal my feelings for her. Had she really thrown herself at me when she was in the intoxicated-like state of the past few hours? Was she interested in me like that or was it just the illness? Then again, she could've thrown herself at any male on board and there were arguably more handsome officers abounding, ones younger than me, a bit closer to Beverly's age but she came to the bridge. She was after me, it was me she came to see. It was my ready room she ran to once she got to the bridge. Perhaps it was time to see if there was something between us that we could grow and nurture into a satisfying relationship. The captain's life can be lonely but it doesn't have to be if he can find the right woman to fall in love with.

"Captain!" Beverly said surprised to find me outside her cabin door. Then she looked me up and down and noticed I was not in my uniform. She's an extremely smart woman and quickly inferred that I was there in a personal capacity and not as the captain. "Come in, come in, did you need something, Jean-Luc?" she said dropping our professional titles as she ushered me into her quarters.

"I believe I owe you something." I said nervously.

"Owe me something?" she asked.

"You said I owed you something. I was wondering what you would like me to do about it." I said gently. She looked confused. "In my ready room a few hours ago, you said I owed you something."

Her face turned as red as her hair as she blushed furiously, "Oh, captain, I am so sorry! That was the illness talking, I didn't mean to be so unprofessional. You don't owe me a thing! Please forget I said that!" she begged and then hid her face in her hands.

"Beverly" I said and waited for her to show her face again. She continued to hide behind her hands. I gently took her arms and lowered them from her face so I could see her lovely face. "Beverly, I'm not sure I want to forget what you said." I admitted.

She looked up at me and I could see shock register on her face at my words. "Jean-Luc?"

I steeled myself and asked the difficult question, "Beverly, was it only the illness talking? Could you have been talking to any man on the ship or did the illness allow you to say something you wanted to say to me, specifically?"

She was quiet for a moment, judging the situation I believe. Her illness allowed this particular topic to be brought out into the open but now that it was out there, the question was what we were going to do about it? Just forget it ever happened? I cringed at the thought of doing just that, it might take us years to break through again. She had to be wondering if I had serious feelings for her so I tried to impart my intentions to her in a way that would save us both embarrassment later if she decided to rebuff my advances, I tenderly touched her. Nothing too personal but personal enough, I tucked a stray curl behind her ear and ended that motion with a small caress of her ear that trailed down her hair. She got the message, she visibly swallowed and said, "I couldn't have been talking to any other man on the ship, Jean-Luc, only you. Definitely, only you." she said bravely.

I smiled with relief and joy, she wanted me – definitely, only me. As long as we were breaking through barriers and being brave I went a step further, I leaned in and gave her the lightest of kisses. It was as gentle as the brush of a feather but it spoke volumes about our feelings. There was something there on both sides, it was out in the open now. We could work to make this happen. The tension was getting unbearable though. Finally, she laughed, "Who would've thought a near death experience could be a good thing?" she said as she backed away from me. "Would you care to stay for dinner, Jean-Luc?" she asked lightly. Our intentions out in the open did not mean we didn't need to take things slowly. I wanted this relationship to grow at it's own pace, one that would sustain itself and us and not burn out quickly. A simple meal and conversation together was a perfect start.

"I would be delighted." I answered truthfully and moved away from the door and entered her cabin, and her life.


	3. Code of Honor

"The vaccine, sir?" I asked without greeting, forgetting my position, as I entered his ready room.

"Yes, doctor?" he asked.

"The vaccine, I'm a physician, I've seen death but not on a scale this could mean." I said trying to impart to him how important this mission was. I was overstepping my bounds, I am sure he understands how important this is but my emotions were getting in the way.

"You were testing to see if you could replicate the vaccine." he said hoping we had made a breakthrough and could skip the diplomatic problems on the planet below us.

"And we can't. The sample works fine when used as an injection but becomes unstable when we try to replicate it. You must get the vaccine from the planet, captain, as much as you can." I let him know and then my emotions intruded again, "Immediately." I implored.

"I'm aware of that, doctor." he said trying to calm me down, let me know the delay wasn't his fault.

I hoped he would later forgive me for my outbursts because I couldn't help it, "You've never had to watch a patient die from this disease." I accused him.

"That's true but I have seen my share of death." he said, ever the diplomat, even in the face of an upset woman. He was maintaining his professionalism, I wish I could feel that calm. I realize he probably didn't feel that calm but he looked it.

I had to try to get myself under control, "Damn. Where are the calluses we doctors are supposed to grow over our feelings?" I asked.

"Perhaps the good ones never get them." he offered. "Beverly," he said using my first name to let me know that we were moving beyond professional right now, "I understand your urgency, I do feel it. I'm walking a tightrope here. If I go to slow on our negotiations with Lutan more people die but if I press him too hard we might not ever get the vaccine and even more people will die. Add into that problem that these are our first real interactions with these people and it will have far reaching consequences in our relationship with them. I'm doing the best I can for everyone involved but I'm only human."

"I understand. I thank you for all you are doing. Please understand, as a doctor, it pains me to see anyone die but to watch many die unnecessarily because of diplomatic reasons is unacceptable to who I am and what I stand for in my life. Please excuse my outbursts, captain." I finished, I was sorry for my unprofessional behavior.

He smiled at me, "Nothing to forgive, Beverly, you are just being allowed to express your feelings. It's comforting to me to allow you to do so when I am not allowed. At least someone gets to be true to her feelings."

"You know you can always express your feelings to me about anything. I might not be able to do anything about them or help in any way other than to listen but I can do that much for you, Jean-Luc." I offered. I would like to be able to do more for him, personally, get to know the man behind the uniform, so to speak.

He sighed, "For the moment I do not think it would be wise for me to let loose on my opinions. I might not be able to reel them back in for later negotiations. But it is nice to know I have that option, I thank you. What do you say to a lovely dinner in Rome, on the holodeck of course, when this had ended and I can vent my frustrations over this situation during appetizers and then we can have a friendly meal once that is out of the way?"

Exactly what was happening here? Was he simply taking my offer to heart and nothing more or was he inviting me to dinner to begin something more? And what 'more' would he have in mind? Platonic friendship? Romance? A purely physical relationship? My only options were to turn him down and wonder what he had been offering or to take him up on his offer and explore the possibilities. "Jean-Luc, I think that sounds lovely, but only if you will let me return the favor and have you for a real cooked meal in my cabin some time later."

"You cook?" he asked surprised.

"My grandmother taught me, I enjoy it, on occasion." I told him.

"Then we shall have two things to look forward to after this mess is dealt with." he said with a smile that showed he really meant to follow through with our dinners and was indeed looking forward to spending time with me. Something else to focus on other than the impending deaths light years away would help me to retain my composure. I stored away his promise like a lifeline to hold on to in the hours, perhaps days, ahead. "Now, Beverly, if you will join me, I had better see if the crew has gathered more useful information on the planet from our probing."


	4. The Last Outpost

"Not a moment too soon, Jean" I murmured as I regained consciousness to notice the ships computers and lights all coming back on. We had gotten power back and heat was flooding through the ship, warming us all again. I reached over to Jean-Luc and felt his pulse. In reality I just needed to touch him, assure myself he was alive and as well as could be expected. Then as my brain thawed a bit I realized we were on the bridge and I was caressing the captain and had called him by his first name. I quickly said, "I mean, captain." as I started to remove my hand from his neck.

He caught my retreating hand to stop it's escape. He looked at me for just a second and then did something that warmed my whole body, he quickly but gently kissed my palm before releasing my hand and whispering, "Yes, Beverly, not a moment too soon." It was just a few seconds but he had allowed me to see the real Jean-Luc and I could see he cared for me well beyond my position as ship's doctor, it was heartening. Then the lights finished coming on in the ship and the window into the real Jean-Luc closed and our captain was again on the bridge.


	5. Where No One Has Gone Before

She entered my ready room, "You wanted to see me, captain?" she asked.

I gestured towards the couch and joined her there, "I wanted to thank you, Beverly, and apologize if I was a bit brusque recently."

"What do you mean?" she asked confused.

"Well, with the Traveller, I felt I had to push you harder than I wanted to about waking him. I know sleep was probably the best thing for him but I had the whole ship to worry about." I explained. I hope she realized this wasn't something I would do for any other officer, if my duties and orders upset them it was just part of working on a starship and they had to adjust. But Beverly was special, I cared for her more than any other person aboard my ship. I did not want her to become another crew member that avoided me because we had clashed over orders and duties. She did look confused that I was explaining my behavior.

"You have nothing to apologize for. I understood you had more than just my patient as your responsibility. Just as I'm sure you understood my reluctance to wake him. He was my patient and it wasn't the best thing for him, but you had to order it for all of us. I do thank you for taking the time to worry about my feelings, Jean-Luc, I appreciate it." she admitted.

"I also thank you for your excellent care of him, we could've been stuck out there, wherever we were, forever if he had died. I know you were frustrated by his differences from our physiology. I wonder how long we would have lasted in that place we were. The universe is even larger and more complex than we thought. I do not look forward to sending my report to Starfleet, how do I explain what we've seen?" I asked more to myself than my companion.

She chuckled, "I'm glad it's you that has to make out that report, I wouldn't know where to start!" she exclaimed.

"Beverly, would you be willing to read my report before I send it, see if there is anything I missed or should have explained differently?" I asked, I wanted a reason to see her again.

"Is that allowed?" she asked.

I smiled, "I'm authorizing it, so that makes it allowed. Could you come here tomorrow to read my report? Around lunchtime and we can share our lunch while you critique my writing."

She laughed, "Like I'd have any useful criticisms of your report. I'm sure your reports are more than adequate. But I would like to read what you have to say and it would be quite acceptable, even enjoyable, to share lunch with you, Jean-Luc."

Ah, good, she agreed to dine with me, a good first step towards becoming friends, perhaps more.


	6. The Lonely Among Us

I was sitting in my office supposedly to be working but I was worrying instead. I didn't think the plan to get Jean-Luc back could possibly work but I sat there wishing and hoping that it would. I wanted him back. I missed him painfully. Why hadn't we done anything about the obvious attraction between us? I realize there would be complications with our positions but we could handle that. There had already been several times I vehemently disagreed with his orders but I know my place, I bit my tongue and did my duty. I believe I could still manage that if we became more than just colleagues. I wanted a chance to try it. I wanted him to be alive not just because he's a human. I selfishly wanted him to be alive for my own reasons and purposes. Suddenly the door to my office opened and the object of my musings strode through the door. I couldn't help myself, I jumped up from my chair and launched myself into his arms. "Jean-Luc! You're alive!" I squealed. He returned my embrace. Until he did that I hadn't realized what I was doing but then when he reciprocated, I was very glad I had followed my instincts.

After a moment he released his grip on me and I reluctantly let him go. If I was going to prove to him that I could maintain proper decorum should we begin a relationship I had better apologize for my behavior. "I'm sorry, captain. Forgive me." I said as I stepped back from him and straightened my uniform to give my hands something to do.

He did something that surprised me then, he turned and closed my office door. "No apology necessary, Beverly." he said, using my first name to indicate we were figuratively out-of-uniform and talking personally instead of professionally. "It was a lovely welcome back, thank you."

I gave a large sigh of relief, "I was so afraid we had lost you. I didn't think using a previous pattern to beam you back would work. Are you alright?" I asked and then something occurred to me, he must have come directly to sick bay after being beamed back into a solid form. "Do you feel alright? Is there anything wrong with how you rematerialized?" I asked grabbing my tricorder to scan him up and down.

He put his hand over mine that held the tricorder and pushed down to stop me from continuing my scan. "I'm fine, Beverly." Then he released my hand, "Check if that will make you feel better."

I did scan him over once, everything was normal. "Then why are you here in sick bay?" I asked.

"I was just beamed back from oblivion, is it not natural that I would want to see a good friend right away?" he asked softly.

He wanted to see me? After a trauma I was the one he immediately came to? I felt a surge of hope for our developing relationship. "Quite natural. I'm glad you did, I've been sitting here worrying about your return. Are you sure you are alright and that you are only you?" I asked. I feared the alien entity that had invaded him was still present.

"Beverly, I am me. Totally human. So human, in fact, that..." he trailed off as he leaned forward to press a gentle kiss to my lips. "Satisfied that I'm me?" he asked after straightening up again.

I was shocked. Yes, I would love for Jean-Luc to kiss me but it's not something he was likely to do. "No, I'm not satisfied. Jean-Luc isn't likely to kiss me."

He chuckled, "Yes, I can see your point. But, you thought you had lost me, correct?" I nodded. "And, perhaps, you had been thinking of things you wish we might have done before I was gone?" I nodded again. "Well, I thought I was lost forever as well. I spent a good deal of time out there in the energy cloud wishing I had at least once kissed you. A near death experience like that can cause one to take risks to change their life for the good. Agreed?"

I took a step closer to look deeply into his eyes, trying to see Jean-Luc and fearing I might see more than just Jean-Luc. "You've wanted to kiss me?"

"For quite some time, are you dismayed that I did?" he asked starting to become uncomfortable with my skepticism, maybe worried that I would rebuff his advances?

I lay my hand on his cheek, "Very much the opposite, Jean-Luc. I am elated you are back. I'm happy you came to me. I hope you will forgive my forwardness but I've always wanted to kiss you as well." I said and then I did just that, I kissed Captain Jean-Luc Picard. Feather light brushes of lips at first with little playful nips and slowly becoming stronger and deeper. We parted, breathing heavily.

"So, you are ready for the added burden of a personal relationship with your ship's captain?" he asked hopefully.

"Without hesitation." I told him as I drew his lips back to mine.


	7. Justice

"Main viewer on." Riker ordered first.

"Hailing frequencies." Jean-Luc added.

"Open, sir." Tasha reported.

"To the object in orbit with us, we will remove the human colonists from the adjoining solar system if you signal us to do so. Please tell us." he addressed to the Edo god's ship.

Everyone was waiting for a signal. Data noticed a change first, "Captain." he said. We all noticed the ship disappearing parts at a time until it was no longer there.

Geordi asked, "Is that a signal?"

"I suppose... suppose it must be. I was hoping for more." Jean-Luc said.

"More what, sir?" Geordi asked, "I'm glad it's gone."

"Agreed. Short and sweet, god-like efficiency." Riker chimed in.

"I was hoping we might learn more about it." Jean-Luc admitted. "But since we can't, take us out of here Number One."

"Gladly." he replied.

"Doctor, in my ready room." he said looking at me and nodding towards his ready room. What did he want? Was he unhappy with my behavior of late? What did he expect when my son was scheduled for execution? I thought I did quite well. I followed him into his room and the door swished shut. He turned and gently lay his hand on my shoulder, it seemed to be vibrating. I looked at his other hand at his side, it was visibly shaking. He was that affected by what had just happened? "Are you ok?" he asked me. At the moment I was ecstatic, the reality of what could've happened will hit me later but he looked like he could use some comforting. I learned with Jack that to pretend I needed comforting was the best way to get him to accept it in return. I took a step forward and slid my arms around his chest and he enveloped me in an embrace. I stood there reveling in the fact that Wesley was fine and back aboard ship and that Jean-Luc was letting his professional mask slip a bit allowing me to see the man behind the mask and just enjoying the simple comfort of the touch of another person.

"Jean-Luc," I said as we stepped back from each other, "thank you for getting Wesley back safe."

"All I could think of was 'Not Wesley!'." he exclaimed, "He's so young and so intelligent and full of life! He brings such vibrancy to the bridge. He means too much to all of us to lose him. And you, how could I do that to you again? It was bad enough to bring Jack's body home to you but Wesley..." he shuddered. The he looked up at me with surprise, I don't think he had realized how much he was saying, the emotions he was showing. I was touched by how much he cared for my son, I hadn't realized. But then again, he was finally letting me see the real man and not the captain persona he projected. I've always resented but understood the mask. I imagine it's quite lonely for him. Everyone needs friends, someone to talk to, spend time with, go to when you need a hand...

"I can't imagine how I would have gone on without him." I admitted. What would I have done? I would have been alone in the world with no family. I don't want to live that way.

"Yes," he said as he straightened up his posture and tugged down his uniform top to smooth out the folds, "I am very pleased we managed to extricate ourselves without harm to any of the crew." he said in a clipped tone. The captain was back in control full force and losing sight of the man pained me.

"Oh, well then..." I said sadly, trailing off and not finishing the thought.

"Is something wrong?" he asked.

"Captain Picard is back." I said and he looked confused. "For a moment there I saw Jean-Luc and he looked like someone I would really like to get to know, someone that could be a really good friend if he could keep the professional mask off for awhile at times."

He knew exactly what I was saying, I could see it in the way he looked at me. He was thinking, judging the risks versus rewards of a real friend among his crew. Could he trust me? Would I try to take advantage? Would it be worth it? I think I came out on the better side of his mental weighing of everything as he smiled and said, "Maybe you'll see him again soon, Beverly." It was a step in the right direction, I had to be content with that – for now.


	8. The Battle

"Yes, who the hell is it?" I felt like hell and someone was bothering me in my cabin.

In walked Beverly, "Not resting, captain?" she asked somewhat concerned and somewhat exasperated. Believe me, doctor, I'm rather exasperated myself.

"More like dying, doctor." I admitted.

"Over here." she said, directing me to my couch.

"What is wrong with me?" I asked.

"I wish to hell I knew, captain. But something unusual has definitely been happening to you." she said knowingly.

"Why do doctors always say the obvious as though it's a revelation?" I said peevishly.

"Why do captains always act like their immortal?" she parried back with her quick wit. I had to admire her meeting me toe to toe verbally and not backing down. She was scanning my head with a small scanner.

"No." I said pushing away the scanner.

"You didn't tell me it had been this bad." she admonished me as I cringed with the pain.

"It wasn't this bad but it's been getting worse." I told her. It was steadily getting worse.

"This should help a little." she said and used some tool on my temple. It did help, I felt better. Not pain free but better. "It's got to be some kind of emotional pressure connected with the Stargazer."

Seemed a reasonable assumption but it wasn't that easy, "I got this headache long before I even knew my old ship still existed." I said and then thought for a moment, "Still, perhaps you're partly right." I agreed.

"Wanna talk about it?" she asked. I was tempted to do just that. I feel I could trust her with personal feelings and insights. That is something I have found to be a rarity for a captain. "I'm here." she said, urging me to talk.

"The fight at Maxia, I destroyed an entire vessel, entire crew." I said with regret, those lives still plagued my thoughts. How many? Who were they? Did they suffer? I cringed at the thought of the suffering of their families.

"Did you have a choice?" she asked.

Yes, I've thought that many times and it didn't make me feel any better when I kept coming to the conclusion that I didn't have any other choice. That was that I thought for years but now after hearing the log from the Stargazer I wasn't completely sure, "I don't know any more, I just don't know." I admitted.

"Commander Riker has told me about the altered log, if that's what's troubling you." she said gently. That was part of the trouble but there was more that I hadn't told any one about. I should tell someone, maybe it's important.

"The last three nights I've heard these voices. I'm on the bridge of my old ship and there's fire all around me, the claxons, smoke, and then I give the order. And now the Stargazer is really here. And that, that log, I'm I going crazy? How do I know I was in my right mind at Maxia? How do I know I'm in my right mind now?" I said anxiously, I was really worried about my sanity. If I wasn't in my right mind I could harm everyone aboard the Enterprise.

She loaded up a hypo-spray and gave it to me. "What was that?" I asked.

"Something to let you sleep." she told me. I was annoyed that she didn't ask my permission before administering the sedative but I had to agree she was right to do so. I needed some rest from the thoughts swirling around my brain and my body needed sleep.

"Sleep," I said as she guided me to my bed, "sleep." I said again as I got into bed. She started to pull the covers around me, "Beverly, is this standard treatment for all your patients?" I asked jokingly.

"Personally getting tucked in by the chief medical officer? Hardly!" she said with a laugh. "I can only think of 3 people on this ship that would get this treatment." she said.

I thought for a moment before asking, "Wesley, the captain and who else?" I asked curious.

"Yes, Wesley and also my best friend, Deanna. But, no, not the captain." she said quietly.

Wait? Was the sedative affecting my hearing? "Not the captain? But, Beverly, I am the captain."

She placed a couple of neural stimulators on my forehead and then said, "I am not taking care of the captain, Jean-Luc. I am tucking my ailing friend in bed." The sedative was working fast but I could still feel what she did next. She placed a gentle kiss on my cheek, gave the blanket one more tug into place and quietly left. I liked what she said, she was here as a friend and by her words I took her meaning to be that her friend was more important then the captain. I was glad I had opened up to her. Seems to me I had found a worthy friend, I would not take our relationship for granted.


	9. Hide and Q

Someone was at my door. I didn't want to see anyone. I had beamed down to a mining colony expecting up to 500 injured patients to take care of only to find only nine were alive. Those survivors will recover fully. It's not them that haunted my thoughts. It was the rest, all the dead. All those people with hopes and dreams and family and potential suddenly gone. It always hits me hard but to hold that little girl in my arms moments after her death that I could've prevented if I had been a little sooner just broke my spirit. I don't want to have to put on a brave face for anyone right now but the door chimed again. I sighed and said, "Enter." The door swished open to reveal Jean-Luc, arms laden with a large box. He strode in as if it was his own quarters setting the box on my table. "What are you doing?" I asked annoyed.

"I'm taking care of my friend." he said like it should be obvious to me what he was doing.

The first thing he pulled out of the box was a elegantly wrapped gift. He handed it to me. "What's this?" I asked.

"It's a gift, Beverly, you are supposed to unwrap it." he explained as if I was a small child.

"I know it's a gift, what is it for?" I wanted to know.

"It is for you." he said not answering my real question.

"Yes, I realize that Jean-Luc, but why have you given me a gift?" was what I really wanted to know.

He sat next to me on the couch and took my hand in his and asked, "How are you feeling tonight?"

"I'm fine." I lied. He looked pointedly at me, he knew I was lying. After a moment I caved in to his stare, "Ok,ok, I feel awful. All those people! I was ready to help them, comfort them, heal them, get them back on the road to a happy life but there was almost no life there at all! So many vibrant lives snuffed out in an instant, I couldn't do anything for them."

"Right, you feel awful, I'm here to help you feel better. I can't take away the hurt of the tragedy but I can make you evening more pleasant and less lonely. First, open your gift." he instructed.

I did and inside I found an adorable stuffed bear. She had lovely mahogany fur and it was so soft. Her body was soft as well, I couldn't help but hug the toy to my chest. She had a little heart stitched on her own chest and was holding a small bouquet of pink roses, stitched into her little paw. I looked at Jean-Luc questioningly, this was a gift for a small child, not an adult.

"I have it on good authority that one of these can be a good friend when no one else is available. Deanna said they give wonderful hugs and their fur can soak up tears when necessary. Plus, it will remind you of the good friend you have that gave it to you." he said with a sly smile.

I had to laugh at him, "Ok, she's cute, she can stay. Thank you Jean-Luc, that did make me feel better. And she's supposed to remind me of you? She's a girl, a bear, less than a foot tall and she has a full head of hair!" I teased. He cringed and then laughed at my joking. "I guess I will just have to name her Jean so that she will remind me of you a little bit."

"Next on the agenda would be dinner. What would you like for dinner? Anything you want." he said waiting for an answer.

I really wasn't very hungry. "How about a bowl of vegetable soup? I'm not very hungry." I told him.

He went to the replicator but soup wasn't what he asked for. He came back with his plate of cheeses and crackers and pulled a bottle of wine and some glasses out of the box. "We'll start with appetizers and maybe we can stimulate your appetite."

"Oh, Jean-Luc, not one of your few bottles of Picard wine! It's too special." I knew he kept a few bottles of wine from his brothers vineyard but to use one for a gloomy day didn't seem right.

"We're celebrating the nine who survived. We're celebrating our friendship. We're celebrating Will not succumbing to the allure of the powers of the Q. We're celebrating Q being gone! I'd like to say Q being gone forever but that's not likely. See? We have things worth celebrating!" he said with forced enthusiasm. He was trying hard to cheer me up. It did help. It's nice to have a real friend. We enjoyed the wine and cheese and crackers but I still wasn't very hungry. I instructed Jean-Luc to order my grandmother's vegetable soup. He agreed it was the best vegetable soup he'd had. We talked about different places we'd lived and visited. I got to know more about his life in France and he learned more about my life growing up. It was really nice.

"Now for dessert." he said getting up and going to the replicator.

"I'm really not hungry, I couldn't do a dessert justice." I let him know.

"So then I will order..." he said and turned to the replicator and said, 'one Troi ultimate chocolate sundae with two spoons' and we can share."

"What is a Troi ultimate chocolate sundae?" I asked as it appeared.

"Chocolate ice cream, chocolate fudge, chocolate chips and chocolate whipped cream." he recited.

"Ooooh, that does sound good! I think I could find some room for that." I had to admit.

He set the bowl on the table and handed me a spoon, "Would you like your own?"

"No, Jean-Luc, I can share with you." I said and took a bite, it was very good. I was feeling mellow from the real wine and a lot better about life because of all his ministrations. "Thank you, this has been wonderful and it has really helped me."

"Truly, it has been my pleasure." he said, digging in to the mound of chocolate. "So, what did you think of grown up Wesley?"

"Very handsome, if I do say so myself. And I'm not just saying that because he's my son, he was quite handsome! But different than I thought he would look. I'm glad Geordi got a chance to see with normal eyes, even if for just a minute. Jean-Luc, what would you have wished for?" I was curious what he would have picked. What wishes run around in his mind?

"Nothing I can't get for myself and appreciate it more for the effort in obtaining it." he said seriously.

Not quite the answer I was looking for, "No, I mean if you could have one wish, pretending it wasn't from Q might help, what would you pick? No consequences, just one wish."

"You mean do I wish I was younger, stronger, taller or that I could fly or see through objects or transport myself anywhere in the blink of an eye? There are times I wish for those things but I wouldn't want to actually have that wish, it would change everything and much of it not for the good. Right at the moment, I only wish a friend that needs cheering to dance with." he finished.

Suave, very suave. I might have to keep a closer eye on him. That was a very smooth segue into his next item on this agenda he has planned. "You dance?" I asked. I had never seen him dancing at any of the diplomatic functions we had attended.

"You will have to forgive me for being a poor dancer but, on occasion, I do dance. Would you care to dance with me? Nothing complicated, just a lazy waltz." he asked standing and holding out his hand for me to take. Which I did. He called the computer to play a Stravinsky waltz and took me in his arms lightly. He was being humble when he said he was a poor dancer. He guided me so effortlessly I felt like I was floating around the room. "So, Beverly, what would you wish for?" he asked.

"Me? I hadn't really thought about what I would wish. Maybe I agree with you about not getting tangled up in the Q and powers like that, I didn't ask myself what I would wish. I'd like to say the power to keep all my patients alive but then no one would die and the universe would get crowded. Death is a normal part of the process. I know, I think I would wish that Wesley had been one of a pair of twins. Then I could have had a daughter as well as a son. Yes, that would be my wish."

He smiled, "A very sensible wish, Beverly." We danced two more waltzes before he led me to my seat and went back to his large box. He produced another wrapped gift. "Just lift the lid on this one, do not turn it upside down, it's living."

"Please tell me there is not a puppy in there! No, it would've been noisy and moving during the last hour." I lifted the lid and it was alive but it was a plant.

As I lifted the gift by the pot he explained, "It's a miniature rosebush. It's still young but it will have lovely pink blossoms, like the ones the bear is holding."

"It's lovely, Jean-Luc, thank you!" I was touched, he had done so much to lift my spirits and succeeded wonderfully. I would have to find ways to enhance his life in return. This was turning out to be a promising friendship.

He got up and went to the box again, "Just one more thing." he said.

"But you've done so much already, Jean-Luc!" I protested.

He brought out a bottle and handed it to me. It was a bottle of bubble bath that was rose scented and attached was a card with a note that read 'Crusher Program BB'. "Crusher Program BB?" I asked.

He smiled, "On the holo-deck, Crusher Program BB will take you to a private spa where you can enjoy a luxurious bubble bath and a massage if you wish. I know you are not one to indulge yourself like this but perhaps you should take the time, it's very good for the body and soul. I have to be going so maybe you could go now and try it out."

"Mmmm..." I said sniffing the aromatic soap, "I just might. Thank you, this has all been just perfect. You are a true friend and I do appreciate you." I said.

"Then I will leave you to your spa evening. Goodnight, Beverly." he said.

Acting on a whim, I kissed him on both cheeks in French fashion. "Good night, Jean-Luc. Thank you again." and with that he was gone. I had my bubble bath and mused on my new friend, our friendship was growing and I was very glad to have him in my life.


	10. Haven

My door chimed and I called out "Come!" and it swished open to reveal Beverly holding a bowl with a spoon sticking out of it in one hand and her tricorder in the other. "May I help you?" I asked.

"Deanna sent me. She's got appointments but she wanted you to have this as soon as her mother was off the ship. She says it's an apology for her mother's behavior. She couldn't think of anything that she knew would make you feel better so she sent you what makes her feel better. Looks scrumptious!" she said setting the bowl in front of me. Chocolate ice cream with chocolate fudge, chocolate chips looked like a bit of over kill on the chocolate but I had seen Deanna eating this in 10 Forward. Actually eating is the wrong word for it, I think I should say that I have seen her experiencing this dish in 10 Forward.

I chuckled, Deanna had nothing to apologize for but the gesture was appreciated. Her mother is a very, uh, interesting woman, one that I hope I do not have the misfortune of seeing again any time soon. "This is far too much chocolate for me, care to join me?" I asked Beverly, hoping she would stay and visit for a moment or two before heading off again.

"Oh, I accept!" she exclaimed and had my replicator make her a spoon. It was then she remember the tricorder in her hand. "Jean-Luc, she also said I should bring my tricorder with. Are you well? She seemed to think something may be wrong with you."

"Why do I feel henpecked when I'm not even married? I am fine." I insisted.

"Are you sure, I'm right here with my tricorder and it will make Deanna feel better to know you've been checked out." she urged me.

"As you wish." I said, standing so she could get a good reading. "I believe she's worried about a hernia after carrying her mother's very heavy suitcase."

She scanned me up and down and closed the tricorder with a snap, "Perfectly fine, as expected. But not a total waste of time, it will allay Deanna's fears."

"Please, join me." I said sitting back down and gesturing to the chair opposite my desk. We both tried the chocolate confection, it was quite good but I couldn't eat a whole bowl of that much ice cream.

"So, Jean-Luc, what is Deanna apologizing for other than you having to carry a suitcase?" she asked interested.

"You did get to meet her mother, did you not?" I asked.

"Well, yes, but she's not apologizing to me. What did Mrs. Troi do?" she asked again.

I was slightly embarrassed but it wasn't anything I had done. "Besides generally being disruptive and demanding? Just as she was leaving she made a comment about how I was good looking enough but too old for her and she said my thoughts towards her were downright, uh, well, let's just say completely inappropriate and leave it at that."

"She said that out loud?" Beverly asked, shocked.

"Took great pride in saying that is how I read the situation. She flaunts her telepathic powers, or what she pretends she is reading, around non-telepaths to be the center of attention and shock people. It's rather sad if you think about it." I mused.

She held up a spoonful of ice cream and said, "Here's to her departure then." and we clinked spoons and ate the ice cream. "She said you were good looking enough? That's an understatement! You are quite handsome."

I was pleased but surprised by her comment. "You think I'm handsome?" I asked.

"Jean-Luc, stop fishing for compliments. You know perfectly well you are quite handsome and very fit." she told me.

"Handsome enough that you'd say yes to a walk in the arboretum with me?" I ventured.

She thought for a moment and then said, "On two conditions. First, we get to finish this ice cream, it's wonderful. And second, we go for that walk right after that so I can work off the ice cream."

I was surprised she would say yes. I didn't think she was interested in more than a friendship with me and we had been dancing around even that level of relationship for awhile now. I was pleasantly surprised and was not going to throw away the opportunity. "Deal!" I said, digging my spoon into the ice cream.


	11. The Big Goodbye

He came out of the interrogation room and quickly laid eyes on me. He was staring at me as if he'd never seen me before. He approached me and came quite near, still staring. I might have to wear twentieth century clothing more often, get his attention, maybe speed up our relationship. "Have a good time?" I asked him as I took off my sunglasses under my veil.

"I don't know, sometimes it almost seems too real. I must say you wear it well." he said somewhat breathlessly. "I'm glad you could make it."

He was still staring and it was making me nervous. Maybe we should get back to the pretend characters for a little bit of personal space. "Why, thank you, Mr. Hill." I said in character. I couldn't tear my eyes away from his, it was quite intimate.

"Maybe we should be getting back to the Enterprise." he said. Perhaps he was becoming uncomfortable with our positions and proximity as well.

"We are on the Enterprise." I pointed out.

"Oh, yes, of course, so we are." he murmured still staring deep into my eyes. I swear he was searching my soul.

"Do we have time to see your office?" I wanted to know. I was hoping to spend more time with him here but we needed to move, to have something to do besides gaze at each other.

"Yes, of course. Why not?" he agreed.

We started to walk away when Whalen cleared his throat, "Captain, mind if I join you?" he asked. No, we do not need a chaperone, that is the last thing we need!

Data piped up as well in an over the top accent, "Yeah, me too boss, I'd love to take a gander." Oh, please, not that.

Jean-Luc stopped for just a second and then turned to them and said, "Sorry, gents, my moll would prefer a private tour." He turned to me and asked, "Isn't that right, doll?"

I tucked my hand in his arm that he held out to me. "But of course, dreamboat." I cooed back at him. With that he led me out of the precinct and as we turned out the door I could see Whalen staring with his mouth agape and Data looked quite confused. I didn't care, I was enjoying a walk with my guy.


	12. Datalore

"Lor's gone, sir. Permanently." Wesley called to the me and others coming to the rescue which was apparently no longer needed. Beverly rushed to embrace her son and assure herself he was unharmed.

"Captain, the crystal thing's begun to move away." Riker told me, watching the thing grow smaller on the monitor.

While I was glad the crystalline thing was leaving I was still very concerned about which android was standing before me. "Data, you all right?" I asked.

"Yes, sir. I am fine." he responded. He sounded like Data, but so did Lor. Wesley and his mother say the android in the uniform was Lor impersonating Data, I had to rely on their information but I would keep a close eye on Data for awhile until I was very sure.

"Then get rid of that damn twitch, and put on the correct uniform." I snapped. I wanted my Data back, and soon.

"Yes, captain." he replied and immediately left to follow my instructions.

Now to reinstate the one that saved us all today, "Ensign Crusher, you able to return to duty?" was all I said in way of an apology and thank you. Being captain does have it's privileges.

"Yes, sir." he replied with a smile, his mother still hanging on to his arm.

"Then do so, and let the bridge know that all is well down here." I ordered.

He said, "Aye, sir." and disengaged his arm from his mother's grasp and started towards the door. Beverly was about to follow but I lay a hand on her arm, stopping her.

Riker was still watching the monitor, "It's gone, sir. Without Lor it had no way to reach us."

"Number One, return to the bridge, you have the comm." I said to Riker and then turned to Beverly, "Doctor, now that Wesley's safe, I will take you to sick bay at once." I said and ushered her toward the door.

In the turbo-lift she protested, "Really Jean-Luc, I'm fine. There's no need for you to accompany me."

I decided the friendly approach would work best. I didn't want to use my rank, I wanted to accompany her for personal reasons, not official ones. "May I accompany you, Beverly?"

She looked surprised. "Of course you can, but why would you want to? Really, it will take less than two minutes with a dermal regenerator and I will be completely healed."

"You are important, I want to see that you are well." I said trying to impart my meaning without coming right out to say it.

She looked thoughtful, like she was trying to figure out my meaning. "You mean the doctor is important to the captain?"

She was a very intelligent woman, she was calling me out. "I mean you, Beverly, are important to me." I admitted.

She smiled and it gave me hope that things between us would soon be changing. "Then, by all means, please join me in sick bay."


	13. Angel One

I lay in my bed as weak as a newborn kitten. I had been so busy inoculating the returning away team and those that were already sick I had neglected to inoculate myself against the virus that had run rampant through the Enterprise. I would recover in mere hours with my late inoculation but at the moment I was completely miserable. I was trying to make the best of it. I was getting some rest and filing away the awful experience in my memory so the next time I had a patient sick in this manner I could remember what it was like and have true sympathy for my patient. I heard my door chime. Who would be bothering me now, anyone that would come visiting already knew I was sick and needed rest. Was one day off from duties and social responsibilities too much to ask? I sighed and weakly called out, "Enter."

Jean-Luc strode into my quarters. I struggled to sit up and look alert for the captain. "No, Beverly, please don't get up, you need your rest. I'm here to take care of you until you are well."

That wasn't necessary, I would be fine by tomorrow. "You are needed on the bridge, the Romulans..." I said.

"Have backed off and returned to Romulan space as soon as we arrived. We will remain in the area for another two days to be sure they don't plan to return. Riker has the comm and I will be seeing to the recovery of a sick friend." he informed me as if that was something he did every day. He was going to take care of me?

"I'll be fine, it's not necessary to stay with me." I argued.

"Too bad, I'm staying. First off I have some of your Nana Howard's ailment remedy, are you willing to drink some?" he said pouring some of the offensive concoction into a cup. I cringed, yes, it would help my recovery but I knew from experience exactly how vile it tasted. I gave a quick nod and tried to sit up to drink. Jean-Luc helped me to hold up my head like I had done for him. When I did that for him it was caring and compassionate and enjoyable helping out a special friend. I did feel quite cared for and it was comforting to have him near. I choked down the brew and he was thoughtful enough to have a small glass of water handy to wash the taste out of my mouth. He smoothed my blanket and tucked it in around me. He lay his hand on my forehead and then cheek, I'm sure I was quite warm. "Is there anything you would like?" he asked, "Another blanket? Something to eat or drink? I could read to you." he offered.

"Really, Jean-Luc, you need not stay, I only want to sleep. I'm too tired for anything else." I said apologetically.

He settled into a chair by my bed and said, "Then you just sleep, Beverly, I'll be here if you need anything at all."

"Jean-Luc, why are you really here?" I asked.

He looked a little uncomfortable, "I care about you, Beverly. You are sick and should not be alone, I'm here for you. Now, go back to sleep." he said with a indulgent smile and then opened a book to read while I slept. I closed my eyes feeling like my life was going to be different, better, once I recovered. I was looking forward to it.


	14. 11001001

She came rushing onto the bridge before any of the others had made it that far. She ran to me and threw her arms around me and I found myself in a tight embrace which I could not help but return. I could see Riker smile before he discretely turned his attention to herding the binars up near the turbolift for their trip into the hands of the authorities. Beverly quickly got ahold of herself and disengaged herself from the embrace. "I'm sorry, sir." she said apologetically. "Is everything all right?"

"We're fine, everything is in order. Thank you for the lovely welcome, Beverly." I added to let her know I was not offended by her uncharacteristic show of emotion on the bridge.

Just then the turbolift and the bridge crew came flooding out onto the bridge. "Yes, everything is fine. But now, I want a complete check, all systems, all divisions. Doctor, my ready room, please." Everyone else scattered to their stations to runs the checks as Beverly and I made our way to my ready room. After the door had closed I turned to her, "Are you all right?" I asked.

"I'm sorry for my unprofessional behavior, sir." she said formally. "It won't happen again."

Hmmmm she thought I was going to reprimand her for embracing me. "It won't?"

"No, sir." she said quietly.

"Damn!" I said.

Her head snapped up, "Sir?"

I was going to make a leap of faith. We have been dancing around each other long enough, time to do something about the attraction and feelings growing between us. "Not going to happen again? Well, I'm not glad to hear that, I rather enjoyed it."

She looked perplexed, "Sir?" she said again.

"Beverly, please stop calling me sir. It's just the two of us here and I don't want to talk about ship's business. We've been through a lot in the past few hours. I'd like to know how you are." I said urging her to talk to me as a friend and not her captain.

She relaxed and smiled, "At the moment, I'm ecstatic, you are fine, Will is fine, the Enterprise has not blown up and life is wonderful. We were all so scared when we realized you were still on board and it was already leaving the star base. We thought you were going to die, it was awful." she admitted.

"So," I said moving closer to her, "you would miss me if I were gone?"

"Of course I would, Jean-Luc!" she exclaimed. Good, she used my first name, meaning she would miss my personally.

"Does that mean you might like spending more time with me?" I asked. She nodded nervously as she realized where I might be taking our conversation. "Good, then, if you are free when the system checks are finished we could take a walk through the large arboretum on the star base before having dinner together in their elegant French restaurant?" I was out on a small limb here, hoping she wasn't going to turn me down.

She grinned, "That sounds lovely, Jean-Luc, but only if you promise me that my home will still be here when we return for the evening!"

"Deal!" I agreed and we both went off to finish off those system checks so we could get to our evening out together.


	15. Too Short a Season

"All the medical information the admiral provided is satisfactory, sir." I said.

"Excellent, doctor." he replied absent mindedly, I wasn't even sure he really knew what I was talking about.

"Except for one thing," I continued, "the test results he gave me aren't two days old, they're two months old. The medical records coder always includes the date as part of the file number. He lied to me, sir, and I don't know why."

At least I had his attention now, he was thinking about what I had said, trying to find a reason for the discrepancy in the admirals behavior. "He is eighty five years old, doctor, for some the memory begins to fail." he said, ever the diplomat.

"He suffers from Iverson's Disease, sir, that affects the body, not the mind. Now, I have a gut feeling he's hiding something." I admitted to him.

"Now, that is an observation I would expect from Counselor Troi." he replied. That hit me personally, I feel we are friends, perhaps good friends on the way to becoming more but his comment felt like it relegated me to the level of the least of the crew. I was hoping we were getting closer and what he said hurt. I tried not to show it but I failed. He noticed, he stood from his desk saying, "Doctor," my title again instead of my name. I realize we had been addressing each other as doctor and sir, being professional but now it didn't feel right to be called doctor. He must have sensed the same feeling because he continued using my name, "Beverly, I do respect your opinion." he said sitting next to me on his couch. "And, uh, I want you on the bridge for the next day or so. The admiral must remain in the best of health for these negotiations and he might require your services." He was trying to make me feel better, I gave him a weak smile to let him know I had heard his request and understood. But then he took my hand in his, I was surprised, he had never touched me like this before. "And it would be nice for me to have you on the bridge for a few days, I haven't seen much of you lately and I've missed you."

Now that did make me feel better and made me smile. He cares enough to miss me. "Thank you, Jean-Luc. I will be happy to spend a few days on the bridge, I have missed you recently as well." I admitted.

He smiled in return, he looked relieved that his inadvertent faux pas had been smoothed over. "Once these negotiations are over, would you join me for breakfast? I am quite adept at replicating croissants." he said jokingly.

I had to laugh at him, "Yes, Jean-Luc, that would be lovely." I answered truthfully.

"I look forward to our time together, Beverly." he said and lifted my hand to kiss the back of it, very gallant and very personal. And the way he said my name made me feel quite special.

"As do I." I said. I think we had just turned some corner in our relationship. Things were looking bright for our future.


	16. When the Bough Breaks

I stood there holding a twig of flowers looking around at my bridge crew trying, and failing, to not laugh. What was so funny about a little girl thanking me with some flowers? Yes, I was uncomfortable with children but I thought I handled it quite well. I decided to vacate the bridge and do some work in my ready room to dissipate the feeling on the bridge. I had only just entered my ready room when I heard Beverly enter behind. "May I speak with you a minute, Jean-Luc?", she said lightly, slipping into first names and away from official business. What we call each other at the time is our unspoken code to indicate if we are talking professionally or personally. I'm not even sure when it started but it seems to work for us. I stopped where I was and turned to face her. She approached me and grabbed my arm to turn me around, I did turn for her. Then she turned me back to face her and I noticed she was holding a somewhat grimy and sticky ball of fur. No wonder the crew was having trouble not laughing.

I simply said, "Alexandra."

"You handled her very well, captain. I think she likes you, Jean-Luc." she said. "I'm sure you are a hero to all the children. I'm sure most were frightened they would never see home again. I know Wesley had no doubt you'd get him back though. He trusts you completely."

"I'm no hero but thank you." I said as I leaned to kiss her cheek in gratitude. But at the last second she turned her head and our lips met. I held the kiss longer than I would have had my lips met her cheek as expected but I came to my senses as leaned back, staring at Beverly. Did she deliberately turn to meet my lips? Are we changing what we have between us? "Beverly?" I asked, not speaking the question that we both knew followed.

"Jean-Luc." she said, coyly glancing at the floor away from my face. Coy? Beverly? That wasn't right. My head was processing everything as fast as possible trying to figure things out. I thought I had it. She had deliberately turned and now she was giving me the opportunity to back off and pretend nothing unusual happened, keeping the status quo between us or to pursue a change in our relationship. It only took me a nanosecond to decide, this is the opportunity I had been looking for. I wanted more, we deserved more than the friendship we had. We both wanted more, I knew I had been feeling that way for quite some time and I had seen some longing looks on her face when she was looking at me when she thought I couldn't see. I leaned in again and captured her lips with mine.


	17. Home Soil

We were having a nice dinner together in Jean-Luc's cabin just talking over the recent happenings. We were both still amazed by our discovery of not only a new life form, which is not that unusual for our mission, but one that was not organic. A life form with no organic properties but yet not only alive but intelligent! It was amazing. The three remaining terraformers will be transported to the nearest starbase. Most likely they will be free to go where they wish until a new planet slated for terraforming is ready to get underway.

"Beverly, if you were stuck on a planet like our new passengers, who would you like to have with you?" he asked me.

I thought for a moment before answering, sifting the possibilities and requirements in my head. "I think Geordi," I started and Jean-Luc looks a little surprised, "would be my pick for an engineer. He can come up with solutions for most breakdowns that might occur or be able to fulfill unexpected technical needs. Data would be a good choice as well. Vast quantities of knowledge that might be useful, superior strength and he would be one I wouldn't have to worry about getting sick from unexpected microbes on a new planet. Then there's..."

"No, Beverly, that wasn't what I meant." he said. I looked at him questioningly, silently asking what he had meant. "If you were to crash land on an M type planet and didn't know how long until you were rescued, who would you pick to crash land with you?"

"Oh, not a terraforming operation, I see, that is different. Well, then I think Geordi is not a good pick as there would be very limited options of what to do with whatever of the craft is salvageable. I think Data would still be a good choice, again with his knowledge, strength and lack of vulnerability to microorganisms. Maybe Worf to keep us safe from dangerous life forms on that planet..."

Again he stopped me, "No, I'm not explaining myself very well. I mean if you were marooned on a lonely planet that is a sort of Eden with moderate temperatures, abundant edible plant life, small game to hunt but no large or dangerous animals... what one person would you choose to share that planet with?"

He looked a little apprehensive for me to answer. He was nervous. Is he really asking me what I think he's asking me? Does he want me to answer that question truthfully? Is he ready to move beyond our comfort zone of friendship? He's asking so perhaps he is ready but not quite willing to make the first potentially painful first step. He won't take that step of faith but he wants me to do it? Not exactly brave or chivalrous but honest enough. I can do it but I have to make him suffer with me a little in the process. "Oh, I understand, you mean my survival is not going to be a hardship so who do I want as a companion. Well, Deanna would be a great friend to have along to talk with..." I said thinking out loud. I had to suppress a smile when I noticed his face fall with disappointment. "... but if I'm going to be marooned for a number of years a girl needs more than just a friend so I suppose I'll have to choose a man. But what kind of man? It's my choice? Any man?" I asked him.

"Your choice." he said.

"Well, then I'd have to pick the ideal man. Someone strong and healthy so we could build a home and life on this planet. Someone smart so I would have someone to talk to for years to come. Another doctor would be good in case I become sick but if we are to survive for years I think it would be best if he has other knowledge. We could teach each other our skills, give us plenty to talk about. Obviously someone gorgeous would be a bonus. Devilishly handsome, yes, that would be very nice." I said and he looked glum. Did he not think he was handsome? He really thought I was picking someone else or making up someone? Well then, good, make him suffer right along with me during this transition in our relationship. "Someone sexy to make the nights more fun. Someone romantic and with a sense of humor to make the days fun as well. Someone respectful of my rights and abilities is a must as well so we can build a life together equally on this lovely planet. You know, Jean-Luc, other than the crash landing and not being able to contact off-world friends and family this whole being marooned with my ideal man concept is really starting to sound like something I'd like to do." I admitted. It did sound like a lovely dream. Just the two of us, working together to build a life for both of us without outside distractions seemed like about the only way we'd ever manage to get together. Maybe I could take that frightening leap to try and attain what I really want with Jean-Luc. I took a deep breath and leaped, figuratively, "So... when can we get that crash landing over with and start our new life?" I asked.

"We?" he asked with a relieved smile.

"Stop fishing, of course I would chose to be marooned with you! Don't you dare tell me you'd chose someone other than me!" I said and held my breath. If we were going to move beyond friendship he had to be willing to take that first step as well.

He stared at me, looking like he was thinking it over, even went so far as to stroke his chin before breaking into a rare grin. "No one else could ever come close to taking your place." he admitted and then, finally, he leaned over to kiss me. Just a small start, a small, sweet kiss that meant the world. We were, at last, beginning our journey to become a couple.


	18. Coming of Age

After my unpleasant meeting and job offer with Admiral Quinn I needed a friend. I headed to sick bay and found Beverly in her office. It was heartening the way she looked up at my knock and genuinely smiled when she saw me. "Jean-Luc, come in, come in!" she welcomed warmly. I closed the door to her office and remained standing, I rarely come to sick bay to visit with her and have only closed the door behind me once or twice because of official business. My closing the door caught her attention and she quickly asked, "Is there something I can help you with, captain? Are you feeling alright?"

"I'm fine, Beverly." I assured her and she relaxed visibly with my use of her first name. She knew I wasn't there for official reasons. "I just had a meeting with Admiral Quinn."

"His inspection is totally ludicrous! He was asking me questions he had no right or good reason to ask, it was quite uncomfortable. Can you tell me what they were looking for now? I'm sure they didn't find anything, but what were they looking for?" she asked.

"They were investigating me..." I started to say.

"That's absurd!" she exclaimed.

"Thank you for your support. Any events not in line with Star Fleet regulations were all completely reported in the logs. There was nothing for them to find. The admiral was vetting me before offering me the job as head of the academy." I told her. I was watching carefully to see her reaction to the news that I might be leaving the Enterprise and I was not disappointed. She was quite visibly affected.

After a moment she pulled her thoughts together. "That's quite a prestigious position, are you going to accept?"

"Would you mind if I did?" I asked carefully.

"I would be happy for you." she replied, holding in her own feelings.

"Beverly, you didn't answer my question. Would you mind if I left the Enterprise to head the academy?" I asked again.

She took a deep breath, "Of course I would mind, Jean-Luc, I requested this position to be near you."

I couldn't help but smile, she did care for me. She cared enough to leave earth and wander the galaxy to be with me. I reached across her desk to take her hand in mine. "I'm glad to hear that. I thought about the position, the responsibilities, the opportunities, leaving my crew and the Enterprise, helping to mold the next generation of officers, being on solid ground... all the facets I could think of in taking the posting. There were positives and negatives and all were quite even except for one thing. That one thing made my decision for me." I paused, preparing myself to admit what was I was about reveal. "You, Beverly, all things being even, I could not leave you. You weighed very heavily in favor of turning down the position and staying on the Enterprise to be near you."

She let out her breath she had been holding and slumped in her chair looking quite relieved. "Thank heavens! I think you would make an excellent commandant of the academy but I don't think you'd be happy for very long there. Staying in one place all the time, doing the same sorts of things year after year, the constant politics and dealing with young men and woman all the time would wear on you." She released my hand and stood, coming around her desk. "Besides, I hope you would miss me."

It was time to make my move and start our romance. No time would be better, our walls were down and we were both feeling emotional and opening up to each other. I reached up and tucked an errant strand of her beautiful red hair behind her ear, then stroked her cheek as my hand moved around to the nape of her slender neck. "I would be on earth but my heart would still be right here with you." I said truthfully before finally caressing her lips with my own. Her lips were petal soft and masterful, I briefly wondered to myself why we hadn't done this months ago before my brain became incapable of coherent thought. Her tongue darted out and stroked my lower lip causing me to gasp with pleasure and giving her access to my mouth. It was a very welcome invasion. I returned the favor exploring her mouth.

Suddenly her communicator came to life with Wesley's voice. "Acting Ensign Crusher to Dr. Crusher"

She answered, "Dr. Crusher here." sounding out of breath.

"I just transported back." he informed his mother. "I failed. No, I don't want to talk about it. Crusher out." and the communicator went silent.

"Jean-Luc..." she started but I cut her off.

"It's fine, Beverly, but let me go talk with him." I requested.

"You want to talk to him?" she asked.

"I think I can help." I informed her. "I will see you at Admiral Quinn's farewell dinner and, hopefully, afterwards for a nightcap in my cabin?"

She leaned in for a lingering kiss before saying, "I'm looking forward to it."

I left feeling lighter than I had in years, my love life was finally coming on track. I had waited a great many years for Beverly but I was sure a life shared with her would be worth the wait.


	19. Heart of Glory

Worf and the other two Klingons we had rescued entered sick bay. Their comrade with the severe head injury was dying. Klingons have always made me nervous, they are so angry and strong and I do not understand their love of conflict and fighting. I have been around Worf enough that I trust him to control that side of his character but even he makes me nervous when he gets overly agitated. Now I was in my sick bay, unable to save a Klingon with my skills, and his comrades had arrived to witness his death. How would they react? I was glad Jean-Luc was here with me and the others from security as well. I buried my fears under the surface and simply said, "He's dying." and backed away from the biobed and the dying Klingon on it.

His comrades went to the side of the biobed. My patient gave a strangled, agonal breath and one of his comrades darted towards him and grabbed his head and forced his eyes open roughly with his thumbs. I was startled. What was he doing? What horrible Klingon ritual were we about to witness and how gory would it be? Do they gouge out the eyes of the dying? Then they started to growl low in their throats and I couldn't help myself, I moved my left hand about 3 inches away from my body and grabbed Jean-Luc's hand. He was kind enough to grasp my hand back. I took strength from him to hold my ground while the 3 live Klingons roared at the ceiling over the dead. The low timber and guttural growl and sheer volume of their roaring was frightening. My nurse was cowering against the monitors, she seemed as affected by their display as I was. Just as quickly as it began they cut off their roar and stepped back. As they moved, Jean-Luc squeezed my hand before letting it go. One Klingon removed a large claw from the dead man's boot and they went to the door of sick bay. I steeled myself to approach them and speak, "Is there any special arrangement you'd like for the body?" I asked with what sounded to me like an even voice though I was still shaking inside.

"It is only an empty shell now, please treat it as such." he replied before leaving. My nurse skittered away to another room and I was left alone with Jean-Luc. I lay my hand on his arm, "Thank you, Jean-Luc, it helped."

"Anytime, Beverly. For you, anytime." he replied and then leaned in to kiss my cheek. It's nice to have a strong friend at times and one that can be understanding and tender at times is a treasure to cherish.


End file.
